Saturday, November 18, 2017

October Recap

Happy Saturday. Hope the weather is nice where you are. We are currently enjoying warm and dry weather here. I even saw some dandelions the other day. Not complaing though.  I am sure snow and cold are right around the corner.
October started out with me having a bad reaction to all the supplements I was taking. I ended up with terrible pain in my hands and arms. I could barely use them which is not good especially when you need your hands to do your work. I emailed the functional med doctor about it and it did not go well. She was not very kind or helpful at all so I ended up stopping all the supplements until our next appointment. I was really suffering in the meantime though. I was about ready to quit seeing her but something I said during that appointment seemed to turn it around and I think she finally got it. I won't boar you with all the details but she seems much more willing to help now and finally got a hold of the neuroviralogist that I have been wanting her to talk to. After telling her about my case she thought it could be something viral or Bechet's. This is not the first time Bechet's has been brought up and I have often thought it could be the cause of my symptoms too but have never been given the diagnosis. She wanted met to have some specific blood work done. If the viral blood work comes back normal then that is probably what we are dealing with. In the meantime we decided to try a few different supplements this time. These are the ones that work on the mitochondria cells. NAD and L Carnitine. I started off very slowly this time and so far am doing okay with them. I am also doing a detox smoothie in the morning too. I am waiting to hear what the blood work shows and then go from there. In the meantime I spent countless hours on the phone trying to get prices for the bloodwork. It was a nightmare. I was going to use a mobile lab but both of the ones I called never followed through so I ended up going to Labcorp and it worked out okay so far. I don't understand why it was so hard to get prices though.
Unfortunately the 2nd visit with the health coach did not go well which was disappointing especially after how much I liked her the first time. She gave me a lot of suggestions for natural things to try like sitting in a sauna, guided meditation, Epsom salt and baking soda baths, dry brushing, tumeric, yoga, many of which I had already tried. She also seemed to feel that I did not give them enough of a chance but once again I know my body and if something is going to work or not. I also do not have unlimited funds to keep doing something especially if I feel it is not working or making things worse. I also got the feeling that she felt what I was going through was more in my head and I could help myself more with my mind then meds. That really upset me. I do believe that there is a mind body connections but I also believe there is something physically wrong too so I will just be dealing with the doctor and the NP for now.

 I am continuing to work on my modern calligraphy. After all this happened I thought this saying was very fitting and created it with some brushes from Ipadlettering and a chalkboard background.
I also made this one for Halloween too.
I am starting to see improvement which makes me happy.

We finally got to see Rich's new office downtown. His business is continuing to grow and do very well. I am very proud of him for all he has accomplished. With any small business it is not always easy. I think he is doing a great job though.

Sales in our Etsy shop returned and we have been busy again, for that I am very thankful. I have been working on my titles and tags with the help of Marmalead and Etsy Rank I think it may be helping some. It can be so hard to know what it takes to get buyers to find us though. This is one of the new items we made.  It was a candyland themed birthday for twins. We are very happy with how it turned out.
Rich brought home some germs the end of the month and shared with Emilia, I think I may have had a milder version of it but they are both still coughing. I made some Jewish Penicillin to help the healing process. I have been making this soup for a long time. It is very simple and delicious and is paleo too.
That's all for now. I hope the rest of your month is a good one and you have enjoy your Thanksgiving with those you love. I will be back next month with more to share then.

Friday, October 20, 2017

September Recap

Happy Friday. Fall has definitely found it's way here. We had our first snow of the season a few weeks ago The next day everything looked like Fall, Last year we didn't have our first snow until the middle of November. The colors are really pretty but now all my beautiful plants are dead. At least I have the photos to look at until next year though.
September was a not a good month. It started when my mother in law came for a visit and my dad ended up in the ER the same day. Talk about bad timing Turns out my dad had a bad reaction to an antibiotic that caused his already bad kidneys to get even worse. He ended up in the hospital for almost a week. They finally got his kidneys back to normal and the catheter out then decided to release him but by they time my mom got there to bring him home they put it back in so she had to take him home with a catheter in. What a mess. They finally got it removed about a week later after going to multiple doctors. Now they say his kidneys are really bad again but he decided to wait to see his kidney doctor in November. He seems to be doing okay in the meantime so who knows how bad they are really are. I guess they will find out then. In the meantime he has fallen twice and is back to eating horribly so it is just a matter of time until things go bad again. It is really hard to deal with parents like this because they won't do anything to change things and and they won't let you help them either.
Things in our Etsy shop were really bad in September too. The worst they have ever been. The only thing I could think of that caused it was all the weather disasters. I ended up hiring someone to help us get our sales back but but she turned out to be a scam. Thankfully I didn't take her advice and was able to get my money back. It is just sad that there are people like that. On a happier note I did have a return buyer who requested a pink and gold pumpkin prop set for her daughter. I really like how it came out. She loved it too.

One of our buyers also sent us this appreciation photo of her daughter Violet wearing our Rainbow Unicorn tutu outfit. Isn't she cute?

I met with the Health Coach from the functional medicine doctors office the end of September. She seemed to be very nice and kind. I thought we were just suppose to talk about my diet but that was not the case. She wanted to know more about me and what else was going on in my life. I told her how overwhelmed I was by the appointment with the Dr and how she made me feel bad by accusing me of arguing with her when I was only trying to tell her that I needed to start  out slowly and work my way up on the supplements. She seemed to understand that and was going to have the nurse practitioner call me to try and explain it better. I also told her about the extra testing being too expensive for me to do at that his time and how hard it was for me to get information about that. I also told her I was very stressed out by what was happening with my dad and lack of business. Most of all we talked about my symptoms and my concern with not being able to find a diagnosis. She kept telling me that I have to trust my body which I really liked.
We talked about my diet some too I told her I was really afraid of eliminating/taking any more out and that I was already eating well. When I filled out the paperwork in the beginning they asked me to list of what I eat each day and I thought she would have seen that and have that in front of her but she didn’t. I have been trying to think of anything I am eating now that could be contributing to my symptoms and was wondering if it could be the soy. I drink soy milk in my tea 3 times a week and use Tamari and a soy based margarine sometimes too so I mentioned it to her. She thought it would be a good idea to try and take that out for a few weeks and see if it would make a difference. She also seemed a bit concerned that I was eating too many almonds and suggested I cut back some and replace them with walnuts or macadamia nuts instead because almonds are good but too much of them is not so I agreed to try that too. She also suggested I add in collagen protein and try a specific kind of almond and coconut combination milk which I also agreed to try.
We also talked about exercise. I told her I walk on my treadmill and do the recumbent bike a couple times of week. She suggested I go outside and walk instead. I told her I don’t do that very often because of my balance issues and I am more comfortable on the treadmill. She kept trying to push it though saying that it can be calming to be outside with all the sounds and things to look at but for someone like me light, sounds, and just struggling to keep my balance can be very hard and does not make it easy for me to enjoy those things. I also think she was pushing this because getting out in the sunlight can help with the vitamin D which I already know so I told her I would think about it.
She also mentioned something about detoxing but didn’t really get specific about that. Detoxing is something I am not really interested in anyways especially if it has anything to do with cleaning out your colon. We are suppose to meet again next week. 

I am still working on my modern calligraphy and made this piece. It was done on my Ipad Pro again with the I pencil and Procreate.  I used more of the digital flowers from Ipad lettering's Show Me Your Floral's Bundle. It is still really hard for me to get the thick and thin strokes so I am still working on that. I can see a little improvement though.

Rich, Emilia and I visited the Denver Botanic Gardens at Chatfield. It is a place I have wanted to visit for awhile now.
It is not as nice as the Botanic Gardens here in the city but it was still fun to visit. They also had a corn maze there. None of us had ever done one of those before but decided to try it. Thankfully we had a map to help get us out because I would not have wanted to be in there any longer than I was. At least I can say I have done a corn maze now but don't think I will be doing one again any time soon though.

Finally I wanted to share these fig bars I made using this recipe. They are easy to make and really yummy too.
Thanks all for now. Hope you are enjoying fall where you are. I will be back next month with more to share then.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

August Recap

Happy September. It's hard to believe that summer will be over in a few days but it still feels like summer here right now. That is all suppose to change this weekend though. Rich planted these sunflowers from seeds in June and boy did they grow. I wanted him to plant them along the back fence but he put them in the planters instead.  I was able to watch them grow from my kitchen window and they kept reminding me of Jack and the Beanstalk the taller they grew. It took awhile for the sunflowers to pop but they finally did and were beautiful. Unfortunately they did't last long though. The squirrels got to them so they are a mess now. Thankfully I got this photo before that happened though.
On the other side I planted Zinnias and Gerber Daisies. When I first bought the plants they did not look so good but I kept giving them TLC and as you can see they have really flourished now!

We also planted tomatoes and peppers. They didn't do so great but we did get some tomatoes though.

I found out that my insurance company denied the visit I had with the vulvar/derm specialist in June because the right referral was not done. That is not my fault though. I asked numerous times if we had the right referral and was told we did. I was also told they would not give me the appointment until I had the right one so I don't understand how they even allowed me to see her then. I have filed an appeal with my insurance company to get it resolved but who knows how long that is going to take. I am not paying one penny of it though, They are charging almost $1000.00 for 1 visit which is ridiculous. She did nothing but look at my lady parts and was not of any help to me at all. All she did was cause me more stress and worry. This is the last thing I need now on top of that.

I also went back to see the functional medicine doctor to go over all the test results and come up with a plan. I am still trying to make sense of it. There were a lot of things to go over and was very overwhelming. At least not all the tests were normal which means there is something wrong which was somewhat validating. One of the things that did come up was my parathyroid is low and so is my calcium. Has anyone had problems with these things or know anything about it? All of my regular thyroid tests are normal. She wants me to have further work up of the PTH 24 hr urine calcium, and have my ionized calcium and phosphorus levels checked. I asked her how much that costs and she had no idea. I told her that I wanted a price before I did it though so I am going to have to try and find that out on my own which I find kind of odd since she did all the other labs.  She also wants me to take quite a few supplements and do an elimination diet which I was not very happy about since I have already eliminated many things. I told her my thoughts about that and specifically about not wanting to take so many different supplements at once because if I have a bad reaction to one of them I won't know which one it is and they are expensive. I have also done things like this before without any results. She did not like my thoughts and took it as I was arguing with her which I was not. I was just telling her how I felt. It is my body, I don't think there is anything wrong with telling her how I feel about her plan. She is not the first Dr this has happened with. It seems anytime you question them they are saying it is taken as arguing which is just so wrong! I was already very overwhelmed by everything we discussed and tried really hard to hold back the tears. She finally agreed to let me try a few things first and then add the other things later. Of course the things she wanted me to try the most were almost $150.00 and she just happened to have them there. I felt like I had to buy them at that point. I tried to explain to her that I am a small business person and don't make a lot of money but she didn't seem very understanding about that. I have 2 more appointments scheduled. One with her in October and another one with the health coach/dietitian this week. I am doing both of those virtually though. I have been trying the first 2 supplements. They are both powders you have to mix with liquid. The L-glutimine was making my mouth burn so we cut the amount down to half and am doing better with it now. The other one I am only taking 1/2 as well because it is too much for my stomach to handle at the full dose. At least I can put that one in a smoothie though. I tried calling a Quest Lab to see how much the extra blood work would cost. It took me hours to find one that would answer the phone. Turns out these tests are very expensive almost $500.00 I can't afford that right now on top of everything else so they are just going to have to wait for now unless I can find another lab to do it cheaper. I am meeting with the health coach this week so hopefully she will be more helpful. I don't want to give up on this yet because  she did agree to talk to the neurologist at University Hospital that specializes in BMS and I don't have anyone else to go to but I also don't know how much more of this can afford either especially if this doctor is not willing to work with me. I don't understand why everything I do when it comes to my health has to be so hard. As much as I feel like giving up I know I can't though. 

I have been wanting to participate in Allie Edwards Day in the Life for awhile now and finally had a chance to do it in August.  The theme this time was to use certain ing words to tell your story for the day. This what I came up with.
The first word is Working. On Saturday mornings this is the first step in my hat making process.

Learning. I was trying to learn how to make the digital peonies from ipadletterings video tutorial for the show me your florals online class I was taking. I had to watch it numerous times and take notes to figure it out because there were a lot of steps.
Listening. I love listening to podcasts. I am a big bachelor/bachlorette fan and love Michelle Collins recaps on it. I also love listing to her call her mom to talk about it too.
Wearing this is one of my favorite outfits. It is so comfortable. The shirt, pants and shoes are all from Lands End.
Loving. My Ipad Pro and Pencil. This was my finished digital peony I learned how to make in the previous photo. It was a lot of work but hopefully will get easier with practice.
Feeling. This was the first sunflower that opened and it left me feeling very happy.
Going. We went for a walk with the dogs but didn't get very far because it started to rain so had to turn back.

Eating. My gluten free veggie mac and cheese. I don't eat it very often because it has dairy in it but is is so good. Definitely a comfort food.
Watching. Everything Everything. Emilia and I have been wanting to watch this movie for awhile and it just happened to come out video while Rich was out of town so we watched it. It was pretty good.
I really enjoyed using these words to help document my day so I may trying doing that with my monthly blog posts from now on too.
Things in my Etsy shop continued to be busy in August. I had a custom order for a fall themed party and and matching high chair banner. This is what I came up with.

Emilia also came up with the a new Giraffe themed Tutu set.

Emilia found a new Vegan Bakery here in Denver. It is called Make Believe Bakery. She bought me a coconut gluten free vegan tart and it was delicious.
That's it for now. I hope the rest of your month is a good one and I will be back next month with more to share then.

Friday, August 18, 2017

July Recap

Happy Friday. Hope your August is going well. The first part of the month was cool and rainy here. Not typical. It felt more like May. The only good thing about it was that everything is green again. We finally got out backyard cleaned up and re barked. This is what it looked like before.

This is what it looked like after.
Big difference. Now we can enjoy being out there again. When it's not raining. :) I also snapped this beautiful rainbow after one of storms.

I went to see the functional medicine doctor that I talked about in my last post. The nurse practitioner she works with was there too.  They were both very nice and kind and spent over 90 mins with us. We talked about a lot of things.  I brought her all the records from this year for her to look at which she wanted to see.  She agreed that fibromyalgia is a blanket diagnosis and most people that get that diagnosis don’t really have it and are later diagnosed with something else. She wanted me to do more blood work, stool and urine testing only one of which is covered by insurance and all of which are expensive but I went ahead and did them anyways because traditional medicine is coming up with nothing. She seems pretty confident we will get some answers from this. She also agreed that there is a lot going on and it is going to take time to get it figured out and said is like peeling back the layers of an onion, I  already knew that going in so that was not a surprise to me. I am just grateful that she is willing to take the time to try and figure it out. I am just worried about spending all this money and still not getting answers.  At least I didn’t leave there crying though and left with a little hope so that is a positive. Thankfully the bottom pain has gotten a lot better and I can sit comfortably again. The migraines have returned with a vengeance though. I had one so bad a few weeks ago I lost part of my vision for awhile, that was really scary. At least I can sit without pain now though because that was terrible. Just hope it stays that way now. 

I have been wanting to learn the new modern calligraphy I see a lot now. I use to do pen and ink calligraphy when I was a teen but this is a lot different and a lot harder. I am doing most of mine on my IPad Pro with the IPencil and really like it. I just wish it was easier to do. This is one of the first pieces I came up with that I can live with, I know I have a lot more practicing to do to get better though. The flower wreath is from Ipadlettering. She has a lot of great stuff on her website so check it out.
We went to the Jackalope Art Fair the end of the month. There were a lot of great local artists there. This was one of my favorite booths, Sweet Treats By Melissa.You can paint the cookie before you eat it. What a great idea for a kids birthday party.

Things in our Etsy shop started to pick up again in July. We did not make any new items but did get this adorable photo of a buyers dog wearing my small dog crown and tutu set. Isn't she adorable?

Finally I wanted to leave you another savory gluten free/dairy free food that we like to eat. It is called bibimbap. It is actually Rich's favorite. We use to go to this place here in Denver called Soulfood which was a Koren restaurant and eat it all the time. They are out of business now though so I had to come up with something similar on my own. The main component is gochujang sauce. You just put it on the tofu before you bake it.  It is to spicy for Emilia and I though so we just use Tamari or Coconut Aminos instead.  You could make it Paleo or Whole 30 by leaving out the rice or using cauliflower rice instead.
That's it for now. I hope the rest of your August is a good one and I will be back next month with more to share then.

Saturday, July 15, 2017

June Recap

Happy July, It continues to be very hot here. It has been in the 90's for a few weeks now with no rain in sight. It would be nice to have some moisture but I am not complaining though. I would much rather have it be hot then snowing and cold. How is the weather where you are?
My medical drama continued through June. I went to see the new primary care doctor. It was pretty much another big waste of time. She was supposed to be familiar with my case after talking to the office manager back in March when I complained about the other doctor there. The office manager told her about my case and after looking it over and said she would be willing take it on. I told them I was going to wait to see the vulvar specialist first though.  When I got there she had no clue as to what was going on with me though. I even asked the person that made the appointment if she would be reviewing my records again prior to me coming in since it had been a few months since my last visit. She said yes she always reviews cases before appointments but she obviously never did. At that point I was already annoyed and she must have heard it in my voice because she told me there was no need to be angry which made me even more mad. I proceeded to try and tell her what was going on, I didn’t get very far though. She moved on to the exam rather quickly and even had me undress before I talked to her. She was not very gentle during the exam but did see where the problem was because I took her a copy of the photo the Vulvar specialist took while I was there to compare it too. She wanted to use a spectulm but I said no because I had my period and didn’t want to go through that again especially since I knew that was not where the problem was. After looking she said that the area the Vulvar specialist said thought could be cancer was healed and looked nothing like it did a few weeks ago when I saw her so there is no need to do a biopsy now. The is nothing to do a biopsy of. That is good news because the vuvlar specialist said that if it healed with the steroids it is most likely an underlying inflammatory condition which is what I have been saying for years but this doctor never looked at the other records I brought her. She basically told me that because my vulva looks fine now not to go to any more doctors, don’t put anything else on it and just live with it even though I told her many times I was still in pain. Who says that to someone????? I tried to explain to her that the vulvar pain was just one small piece of this puzzle there are a lot of other things going on but she did not want to hear about them. I showed her the problem in my mouth which she acknowledged was there but did not have much to say about it. I also told her I had talked to a gynecologist last week that was recommended from another group I am a member of and was willing to look at my records. She agreed it would be a good idea to take them to him since he has been around for a long time. I also told her I was considering seeing a functional medicine doctor but she had no idea what that was. I told her if I did that would she be willing to refer me to specialists but she said she would have to talk to that doctor first. She also suggested I might have Bechets which has come up quite a few times in the past and suggested I see a rheumatologist which I have already done many times in the past so she dropped that. Then she asked me the strangest thing, if I had  ever been physically assaulted or abused which I found really odd. The answer was no and even if I was did she feel that my pain was psychological then?? I did get her to refill my medications and asked her a few more questions like if I needed a mammogram and if blood to needed to be taken to make sure all the antinflamatores I hav been taking were not causing more problems but she said no to both. I am just so tired of being treated like this from the medical community. When does it stop?? I am emotionally , physically and financially drained at this point but I am still in pain so as much as I just want to give up but I don't know if I really can at this point, 
Last week I got a call out of the blue from the vulvar specialist at University Hospital the one that was scaring me with the C word. She asked for me when I went to answer the phone than asked if I got the photos I was looking for. It totally caught me off guard but I told her yes, I had requested those photos over 3 weeks ago so I wondered why would she be calling me now and I told her that especially since she sent me out of there with no follow up to which she replied that yes she did because she referred me to the dental school for a biopsy of the problem she saw in my mouth. I thought that was an even odder thing to say since I went there for my vagina not my mouth. She never asked me anything about that or gave me any follow up for that problem. I told her that I went to see another doctor about my vagina though and the problem she saw when I was there is gone now. She was really excited to hear that and automatically assumed the steroid ointment she gave me worked but I had to set her straight again and tell her that it made me burn worse and I went back to using the Desonide a less stronger steroid cream which the other doctor gave me. That must have been what resolved the problem something she would have known if she had done a follow up. I also told her I was still in pain though and the other doctor told me to just live with it. She responded by saying she could not speak on what the other doctor said but once again her recommendation was to go to the dental school for a biopsy of my mouth to which I responded that she sure liked to cut people and she replied that she really didn't. Why was she going to cut me looking for cancer then when the problem resolved with the steroid?? She even said in her notes that if the problem resolved with the steroids that it is likely that there is an underlying inflammatory condition which is what I have been saying all along. She could have suggested I try the steroid again first before rushing to cut me. I had to beg her to even let me try it in the first place. At this point I was very angry and we were getting not getting  anywhere so she said I should contact a patient advocate. I told her I had already done that and never got a call back. She ended the conversation by saying she would have them call me then and that was it. I spent the rest of the night trying to make sense of it 
The next day I called patient advocate again myself. I was going to file another complaint against her since I never heard back from them. Nobody answered though so I had to leave a message. Later that afternoon I got a call from the patient advocate I originally spoke to. She was not of much help though which was not a surprise. I did find out the reason the doctor called was in response to my complaint the first time. That was a horrible way to try and work things out with me though. I told the patient advocate what happened that she started the conversation by asking if I got the photos I requested. No how are you or anything like that and she agreed that was not good. She did not really have anything else to offer me as a resolution though since this doctor is the only one that deals with the sort of thing there. I asked about seeing the other doctor in the clinic but she didn't know anything about her. We ended the conversation with her saying she would ask around to see if she could get a recommendation for someone else for me to see outside of there. I did not think I would hear from them again but I did the following Monday and this time she told me to go see a urogynocologist for the pain but could not recommend one.  I just wish I could rewind and have never gone there now. All it did was cause me more pain and stress. I don't understand how doctors like her can even be doctors. At this point I am going to go and meet with a  functional medicine doctor in August. I just hope I can wait until then because I am still in a lot of pain especially when sitting. 
In the meantime things in my Etsy shop have been slow again. I was able to make a new ribbon and fabric highchair banner to go with my nautical party theme though. 

We also got these great appreciations photos from a buyer showing some of my nautical party decor in use.

With all the medical stuff going on I needed to do something to make me happy so Emilia and I went and got our toes done again. I also got this necklace while I was there it matches the bracelet I got last month.

We have been eating more salads for dinner now. This is Skinny Tastes Steak Baja Salad. The recipe is from her cookbook Light On Calories Big On Flavor. You could leave off the corn and cheese if you wanted to make it Paleo or Whole 30. It is still gluten free though.
Finally I wanted to leave you with something cute to look at. I made this dog bowtie for a buyer who bought the wrong size. It fit Lily perfectly though. To bad her name doesn't start with B. 
 I also just made this custom crown for another return buyers dog. She happens to be the same age as Sophie. Normally Sophie would probably wear a larger size but I think it still looks cute on her. Also thanks to Aura Frames and their new pet collections for asking me to include some new photos of my dogs. 
That's all for now. I hope the rest of the month will be a good one for you and I will be back next month with more to share then. 

Sunday, June 25, 2017

May Recap

Happy June. After a lot of rain in May it finally started to dry out and feel like summer here. It had been the the 90's the last few weeks but really cooled off a few days ago and has only been in the 70's. We bought some veggies an flowers a few weeks ago. Looking forward to seeing them grow. Hope the weather is nice where you are.
I  was hoping to get this update posted before now but ended up dealing with more medical drama. I can never get a break when it comes to this kind of stuff. I don't even know where to start because it has been such a nightmare again and I am not sure anyone really wants to read it but if I can help one person by sharing my story to not have to go through what I have to find help it will be worth it. I have mainly been dealing with vaginal problems again and have seen 3 different doctors about it since April. Each one had a different opinion. I also found out the NP I saw in February wrote in my records that she thought I should see a psychiatrist because all my blood tests were normal even though she saw the blisters. You can't mentally give yourself blood blisters. Crazy!! Below is a recap of what all has happened since then and it's a lot. If you would rather not read it I understand so just skip ahead to the good stuff.
I went to see another doctor after that in March. He was a primary care doctor and was recommended to me because he was supposed to be good at diagnosing hard cases. It turned out he had no idea what Vulvular Vestibulitis was and started Googling it. After reading up on it a bit the only thing that seemed to stand out to him was that it says it can cause painful sex and was just focused on that which I thought was odd and it was starting to make me very uncomfortable. Having sex is the last thing on my mind right now, I just want to be able to sit without pain and burning. He was suppose to find me a doctor that knew more about this and could deal with it but that never happened. I ended up finding a Vulvar clinic at the University Hospital here on my own and asked for a referral to get in but he was not able to help me with that. I ended up calling the office where the NP was that saw the blood blisters and got them to get a special referral for me to be seen there because they did not take my insurance. It was a 3 month wait but I still made the appointment anyways though. 
In the meantime I went to see another gynecologist that could get me in sooner and was suppose to know about VV. After telling her my history and examining me she thought I had mucus membrane pemphigoid and wanted me to see a dermatologist she knew. She even made a phone call to her while I was there so I could get in sooner so I made an appointment with her the following week. 
After seeing the derm she did not think it was MMP but thought I had LS and possibly LP too. She wanted me to try the Clobetasol again for 2 weeks which I had tried a few years ago but it just made the burning worse so I was not in favor of that and since I was going to see the vulvar specialist at University hospital I decided not to try it again until I saw her. This doctor also got very upset during the appointment because she thought Emilia was recording what she said. Emilia was doing that because I asked her to since it is really hard for me to remember everything that is being said during these appointments and I have never had a problem doing that before. Won't be doing that again now. Needless to say that appointment did not end well. 
I finally got to see the specialist at University Hospital 2 weeks ago. It did not go well either. The only records she had when I got there were the ones from the NP which basically told her nothing except that they thought I was crazy. I did bring all the other records from the other doctors with me for her to look at but when she saw them she said she didn’t have time to go over them so I just tried to tell her what was going on. After that she started by looking in my mouth and was concerned with a bottom tooth on my right side. I have noticed that I can see the bone where the gum is there and it has been inflamed and bleeding a lot but she said it had a white spot on it that I had not noticed before. When I saw the dentist a month ago she never said anything about it. She had Emilia help hold my mouth open so she could take a picture of it which I found rather odd. She then looked at the skin on my back, stomach, arms and feet. After that she did the vaginal exam and used a speculum. She was concerned with the amount of discharge I was having but I told her that I normally get that during this part of my cycle but she wanted to look at it under a microscope anyways. She then did a qtip test and found the area that is usually the most painful on the bottom of the vulva where is it quite red. She also saw what was left of the blister I thought I had on the left upper lip and felt it was not a blister but something I could have had for a while and was not concerning even though I showed her a picture of what it looked like in Feb. She seemed to think that what is there now is different even though it is in the same area. She also said the blisters could just have been from biting and or friction which I thought rather odd. After that I think she said she did not see any signs of mucous membrane pemphigoid or Lichten Sclerosus/Planus but wanted to do a biopsy. I was really caught off guard by that so I asked her what she would be looking for then and she said to check for cancer since that area was not healing but I have had periods of time where it goes away so that does not make sense. If that area had been red and inflamed the whole time why hasn’t it continue to get worse or spread?? The cancer thing totally freaked me out because the other doctors I had seen before had never brought up cancer. After that she asked to take a picture of that area and called in a nurse. At that point, I was very upset and trying to hold back tears. She did nothing to try and comfort me. When she was done I told her that I said that I did not want a biopsy because what else was it going to show besides cancer and she said she could not guarantee it would show anything. I do not want to be cut there on the small chance that it could be cancer then be left with more pain and still no answers plus I can’t afford it insurance won’t pay for anything until I meet the $2500 deductible. She then thought it would be better to see an oral pathologist there instead and biopsy my mouth where the white spot is?? I once again told that that I had just seen the dentist and they never said anything about it to which she said she was not going to argue with me but I was not arguing with her. I asked her about trying another steroid cream that was less potent than the Clobetasol but she said she could not prescribe anything without a diagnosis but even if she biopsied that site she still could not guaranteed I would get one? At that point I was becoming even more frustrated, confused and upset so she finally agreed to let me try the another steroid cream I had heard about called “Triamcinolone” being less strong and not as likely to burn as much. She said to try it for 2 weeks and not use it on the lips but never said anything about coming back to recheck the area. I also tried to tell her that the derm I saw before her said it was LS/LP but she didn’t care and went on to tell me they are very different things but can’t really remember what she was saying after that because I was so upset. She then decided not to look at the slides because she said she didn’t want me to have to pay for anything else and threw them in the garbage which was really odd. I asked her if she could send me a summary of the visit since I was so confused as to what was said at this point and she said I could sign up for the patient portal and that was the only way to get it to me which I said was fine. That was it. I left there feeling very confused and even more discourage and defeated than when I walked in because now I have to worry about having cancer now. The thing is I have been dealing with this problem for a long time now and have had periods of time where it feels normal down there so I really don’t think it is cancer but it will be in the back of my mind now. When I got home I called the gynecologist I saw that said she thought I had MMP but when I told her that the University Doctor did not agree with that or the LS/LP diagnosis from the derm she went me to and wanted to do a biopsy she agreed with her even though she never said anything about this possibly being cancer when I saw her. I am just so confused as what to do now. Even if I agree to the biopsy I would never let the University doctor do it because of how unkind she was towards me. I have to find a doctor that I can trust and feel comfortable with before anyone is cutting me.  I started to use the Triamcinolone ointment but it made me burn worse just like the Clob did so I am in a full flare now. 
I week later there was still no records from University Hospital so I called to see where they were. They had no record of my visit when I finally got through! I had to be transfers to the right place and had to leave a message for someone to call me about it but no one every called. Someone from the dentist school did call that afternoon though. They said they had gotten a referral from the Dr to be seen there but I told them I had no idea what for. The lady that called tried to read the information that was sent to them  but I was still very confused as to why she wanted me to go there. They also told me they don’t take insurance and it would be between $129.00-$200.00 just to be seen. I don't have the kind of money so I am not going there right now. They lady I talked to said I have until September if I change my mind.
I called University Hospital again the next day to see where my records were since I still had not heard from them. Once again I had to leave a message and wait for a call back. I finally got one a few hours later and  talked to a nice lady. I found out they sent my summary to my home supposedly on Sunday the 11th. The doctor I saw never said anything about mailing them. She was adamant that I go through the online portal to get them but I didn't have them. When I asked what address they sent them to she told me my old address How in the hell did that happen??? I don’t live there.  I think I remember them asking my address when I signed in and it was the correct one.  At this point I was very upset. She was very understanding though. I told her I still could not access the records online either. She gave me a number for website help and told me to contact a patient representative because she agreed that none of this should have happened. I contacted both parties. The website guy said he would try to have it fixed by 3:00. The patient representative seemed to be willing to help after telling her what happened. Not sure what she is going to do though. She is suppose to look into my options and get back to me. I never heard from her again though.  I was finally able to access the records from the online portal that afternoon. I still didn't have copies of the photos though.  The lady I spoke to that morning emailed and told me they could be sent but would be in black and white how is that supposed to help me figure out where the problem is since the problem is redness and irritation. I finally got a copy of them a few days ago and thankfully they were in color. There are so many things wrong with the summary she wrote. She obviously did not listen to what I said very well. How did this go so wrong?? I wish I had never gone there!
I made an appointment with a new primary this week. I pray she will be able to help me. If not I don't know what I am going to do next. I am in a lot of pain right now so If anyone reading this has any suggestions or thoughts please let me know.

One a happier note Emilia decided to try something new and is going to Esthetician School. If you don't know what that is, an esthetician is a specialist in the cleansing, beautification and preservation of the skin on the entire body but particularly the face and neck. She is learning about facials, waxing, makeup, as well as more medical types of treatments. Starting in July, she will be available at the clinic in the school for discounted rates. Right now she is able to offer natural, medical or oil-based facials and microdermabrasian treatments. Let us know if you are interested in have a service done.

Emilia and I also decided to treat ourselves to pedicures. Being a nail technician myself, it was nice to have someone else do my toes for a change especially since it's too hard for me to bend down anymore. It's also just down the street from us so it's convenient to get to. An added bonus was that the ladies there also sell beautiful jewelry. I bought a turquoise bracelet from Korea. It was too big to go around my wrist, but I can use it as ankle bracelet and it fits perfectly.
On Mother's Day, we decided to spend the day with my sister, niece, and mom at the Denver Zoo. We haven't been there in a long time and it was fun to spend time together. They've made a lot of changes since the last time we were there. However, after we had been there for a while we remembered why we don't go often. It's hard to see the animals in confined spaces. The highlight of the visit was the new baby giraffe named Dobby. He was so cute and we got a great video of him.

Things in our Etsy shop started to pick up in May. One of our popular summer themes is You Are My Sunshine. We have two girl versions, polka dots and chevron. I also added a new ribbon and fabric high chair banner.

Finally, a new recipe to share with you. This  Whole 30 Shepherd's Pie. You would never know it's good for you. It's a bit of work but worth it as the whole family loved it.
That's it for now. Hopefully I'll be back sooner with our June review. In the meantime if you have any extra prayers or good thoughts could you please send them my way to find the right doctor to help me figure this out. It would be much appreciated.