Things with Lily continued to get worse after my last post. The biggest problem was her nose. It was constantly running and the greenish mucous was back. Mornings were the worst because I could not keep up with it during the night. It would be all over her face and paws dried on and took time to get off. She could not make it through the night without snoring loudly. I can only image how hard it must have been for her to sleep at all but she managed some how. It got to a point where I could not sleep with her anymore because I could not sleep through all that noise. Rich ended up sleeping with her downstairs because he could sleep through it but I felt guilty for not letting her sleep with me. We always slept together. We tried 3 different antibiotics but none of them really helped. It never made sense to me why her nose was always running on the left when the tumor was on the right. She also started have these episodes where she would breath really fast like she was running a race while she was sleeping. After doing some research it sounded like congestive heart failure to me so we decided to try a diuretic. Not sure if it helped or not. She also started bleeding from her mouth which was most likely coming from the tumor. I was able to get some Yunian Biao which helped some. I knew things were not good but she still showed signs of wanting to live. We continued to try to live each day to the fullest she would have periods during the day where she would be better but nights were still the worst. I kept trying to think of things to help her but was running out of options and I was still hitting closed doors. I tried to find something called FECO. Full Extract Canabis Oil which was suppose to be stronger than what I was giving her and was suppose to kill the cancer better but found out that you cannot get it here without a prescription from a doctor. There are places that sell it out of state online but they are charging way to much for it and I didn't trust what they were selling. When I went to question one of the companies about it they refused to sell to me. Is that crazy or what? It was also getting harder for her to eat. I was feeding her with a baby spoon which seemed to help some. I had taken her down to sleep with Rich on Friday June 21st. I had been leaving the door cracked so she could get out if she wanted but that night he told me to close it so I could get some sleep. I told him to come and get me if things got worse. He didn't though and I found out later that she wanted out be he didn't let her that made me feel terrible. The morning of Saturday June 22nd he brought her up to me said she wanted to be with me. She was covered in snot again so I took her downstairs to clean her up. She started shaking so I knew she was in pain. I tried to give her meds but she refused to take them. I knew then that she was telling me she was done. I called the hospice vet and thankfully it was her day off so she could come right away. It still took her about 45 mins to get here though. During that time I tried to sit with her and love her but she just wanted to pace and didn't really want me to comfort her which made me even sadder. My niece called and asked if she could be here I told her yes and when she came Lily was happy to see her which made me start to question my decision but I knew I could not change my mind again. Things were not going to get better. When the vet got here she was not happy to see her though and just went and sat under the table. After accessing her she agreed I was making the right decision. Thankfully it was a very peaceful passing but I still felt as if a part of me died with her. I did feel a sense of relief when it was over though because I knew she would not be suffering anymore and she could not go on like that. I am just so grateful for the hospice vet from Caring Pathways she was wonderful and made up for all the other horrible vets I had to deal with before that. I just wish I had called them sooner. In the end I know I did everything I could for her though and am happy that I was able to get her almost another year of life. I was told most dogs with this kind of cancer don't live very long. One of my biggest regrets is that I was not able to get Sophie more time and I let her go to soon. It is just so unfair that both of them had to go out this way. They did nothing to deserve that. I loved her with all my heart and soul and will never forget her. Hopefully she is in a better place now and will be waiting for me on the other side until we can be together again.
Her favorite place to be was outside in the sun. I took this photo one day when she was doing pretty well. This is how I want to remember her and hope she is enjoying her time in the sun again and Sophie and all the other dogs before her are with her.
Things in our Etsy shop seemed to pick up a little. I didn't make anything new but I did get this great photo of a buyers daughter wearing my Alice In Wonderland Hat. Isn't she adorable?
I purchased Krystal Whitten's Lettering Prayer Journal a few months ago. I had a really hard time getting started though because I was afraid of making a mistake and not being able to start over again like I can with my Ipad. I finally decided to give it try using pencil and erasable pen. I still made a lot of mistakes and if you saw the page in person you would see them. I also ripped the page accidentally when picking the book up one day too. I kept going though and finally finished it. It still has a lot of flaws but at this point I think done is better than perfect. I also love this verse. Hopefully the next page will be easier I think I may plan it out digitally first though.
I also made a few more pieces for the florals and praise for his glory challenge on Instagram.
Finally I made this piece on my Ipad to welcome in summer. Tutorial from Katie Jobling on Youtube.
